In Praise of Mediocrity, or A Five-Paragraph Essay on Wedding InvitationsPosted: March 28, 2011
There is much pressure from the wedding industry to “personalize” every last detail so your “big day” feels “extra special.” Everything from the processional music to the party favors should be a perfect reflection of who you are: your personality, your aesthetic, your values (admittedly, “values” is more of a wedding blogosphere concept; the wedding industry assumes you value only material objects), and, most importantly, “your colors!!” This is all very well and good, but what if you have no personality? What if your aesthetic is ugly, dated, or low-class? What if your values are warped? What if “your colors!!” are dog doo brown and subway rat gray?
If you have ever asked yourself any of the above questions, there is hope for you at MagnetStreet.com. It’s where we designed (read: dropped some text and a photo into a template) our Save the Date magnets and it’s also where we are ordering our invitations. For not a lot of money or hassle, brides with questionable taste can seek safety in damask prints, fleurs-de-lis, and vineyard motifs. There is a good range of prices and paper styles, from the flat, single sheet of cardstock to the multi-layered tri-fold letterpress rainforest killer. Envelopes are included in the price and reply cards are a cheap add-on.
There are some downsides. For example, MagnetStreet seems utterly unaware that there was ever a feminist movement, as you can see in all the samples where the sample groom’s last name initial is the sample invitation’s central theme, never mind that the sample bride’s sample parents are evidently the sample hosts of the sample wedding. Wait a minute, that last sentence sounded really stupid, and not just because I used the word “sample” seven times. Isn’t the wedding industry, and possibly the whole institution of marriage, completely oblivious to feminism? Yes? Moving along, then.
If you like alliteration in your stationery motifs, MagnetStreet will not disappoint. Are you an Effortless Emblem or a Tender Tendril kind of gal? Do you fawn over Flower Flourishes or do you just want to keep things Soft and Sweet? As long as your tastes run the girly gamut, you will have no trouble finding something you
can tolerate love.
In all seriousness, is it wrong of me to recommend a wedding vendor that I find merely tolerable? Shouldn’t I use an independent stationer or go the DIY route? Sure, if I want to pay a lot more or use up many hours of my free time. I’m reassured by the assumption that most people will open our invitation and think either “How nice, I’m invited to their wedding” or “Oh shit, I’m invited to their wedding,” not “Ugh, damask is so overdone.” As for those few who do find fault with our boring invitations? All I can say is they’ll have a field day mocking the rubber chicken and baby carrots at our reception.