An Unpaid, Unsolicited Advertisement for The Future Mrs. Darcy

I have a few regrets in life, and one of them is my wedding invitations. Although I once touted the personality-less, mail-order, template-based online invitation megastore as a way to save time and costs, I have quickly come to regret it. My MagnetStreet invitations are painfully boring. More importantly, my invitations were not designed by Kristen Cox of The Future Mrs. Darcy; as such, they will always remind me of my mistakes.

Kristen Cox has not asked me to write her an endorsement. For all I know, Kristen Cox has a vague idea that I exist, but that’s about it. As far as she knows, I am just some girl who’s getting married and whose mutual friend, Sarah, is throwing the bridal shower and asked Kristen to design the invitations. Actually, according to Kristen’s blog, Sarah didn’t even ask her to design the invitations – she told her she was having trouble finding some other invitations had admired on Etsy. Brilliant use of the passive-aggressive, Sarah. Of course you knew Kristen would come through with some gorgeous new designs on short notice.

When I first started thinking about wedding invitations, I stalked Kristen’s web site, which did I already mention is called The Future Mrs. Darcy? With the Jane Austen reference that immediately conjures images of Colin Firth in his ruffled collar and muttonchops, how could you go wrong? All her different designs are inspired by famous literary and film couples, and all designs are unique and beautiful. Seriously: she has a new one called “Anne and Gilbert” based on Anne of Green Gables. It’s as if I found my graphic design kindred spirit! A new bosom friend, if you will! As Gilbert Blythe might say, I am so soory I didn’t choose Kristen Cox as the designer of all my printed wedding materials. Might as well go drown my sorrows in cherry cordial with Diana Barry, for I have reached the depths of despair.  Alright, that’s enough with the AoGG allusions – see what not hiring The Future Mrs. Darcy will do to one’s soul?

In terms of cost-savings, MagnetStreet was the better deal, but in retrospect I would happily pay a little more to have invitations that I enjoy looking at. As for the MagnetStreet invitations, I just want to put them back in the box. I’ve actually had a dream about Kristen’s “Fred & Ginger” design – that’s how badly I wish we had ordered it. Although I think I was correct in saying once that most people don’t spend too much time staring at invitations — they glance at them and think “F%#k yeah, wedding!!” or “F%#k, I have to buy those a$$holes a gift?” — at the time I wasn’t thinking about how I would feel about our invitations. If we had ordered them from Kristen, I know I would not be able to wait one day to send them out — yours would be in your mailbox by now. But these MagnetStreet ones are so blah that I don’t even have the motivation to address them and am using all kinds of stall tactics to avoid sending them out in a timely fashion.

Well, what’s done is done. All I can hope for at this point is to get pregnant right away – not because I am particularly ready for motherhood, but because I desperately want an excuse to order Kristen’s irreverent baby shower invitations (if one of my good friends volunteered to get knocked up for the cause, that would also work). Are you, too, sick of baby shower invitations featuring ducks and cradles and teddy bears? Because this woman has designed a baby shower set called “Doin’ It.” No further endorsement necessary.

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4 Comments on “An Unpaid, Unsolicited Advertisement for The Future Mrs. Darcy”

  1. Oh Diana, It is always a pleasure to read what you write! (I promise I am sending pictures this week!!)

  2. Rachel W says:

    1) I can’t wait to receive my invitation, regardless of who made it!

    2) I can’t believe that TFMD has an AoGG wedding invite!! It really is like she’s a kindred spirit.

  3. KWu says:

    Oh man, I’m having trouble separating my appreciation of the designs from my squealing about the awesome literary and film and TV references. I sent out my invitations weeks ago, I need to step away.

  4. M. says:

    You could always “fix” them… with an obscene/obscure rubber stamp and a red inkpad.

    See: http://www.etsy.com/listing/60354141/vintage-postcard-woman-nude-in-mirror


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